The loneliness of the psychotherapist – an indivisible experience?

This article addresses the issue of loneliness experienced by therapists in connection with their work. This topic is frequently discussed in the literature, but it is rarely addressed in relation to therapists. Loneliness is most often defined as the discrepancy between desired and actual relationships with other people. Almost half of the population experiences this feeling, but the author argues that loneliness among therapists has both universal characteristics and characteristics specific to the profession. Therapists may feel lonely in their social role because others’ attitudes toward the profession are ambivalent, ranging from attributing excessive competence to devaluation. Many people expect therapists to fulfill their mission in their private lives as well, which is difficult. Therapists may experience loneliness in their work, as the therapeutic relationship is inherently asymmetrical, and therapists rarely reveal themselves, and when they do, it is in a controlled manner. When working with certain diagnostic categories, therapists may feel particularly lonely, for example, with narcissistic or borderline individuals. Experiencing intense and emotionally close relationships in therapeutic work can be challenging in relationships with loved ones, as therapists may feel tired after work, overwhelmed by the presence of others in their inner world. Due to the lack of scientific research on loneliness, in one section of the paper, the author quotes therapists’ statements about how they experience loneliness. Finally, he points out that work on loneliness should begin with its recognition.